I don't write about my husband, K, often. It isn't because he isn't entertaining because he is (ask him about the time I wouldn't let him in the house for being late and he busted in through the air conditioner opening in the window). I suppose the reason is that my computer time is limited and I fear I cannot do him justice. This is my attempt to do my best. Like most married couples we have stupid inside jokes that only we find amusing. We like to laugh and we do so *a lot*. This is what happens when flirting with one's husband goes horribly wrong.
Last Friday I was in a sparkling good mood. It was a gorgeous day and I was sitting inside our SUV playing on my iPhone while the children napped in their car seats and my husband shopped for groceries at Wegmans. Oh and I had a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte to sip on as well. Glorious.
I added spotted dick. *snicker*. We often shop the international aisles and had seen the canned dessert many times. Husband picks up can, shows it to wife, makes stupid joke, and wife laughs. Repeat each time husband and wife visit international foods aisle.
Two days ago I was preparing dinner and couldn't reach the crushed tomatoes for my vodka sauce. I asked my tall husband to lend a hand.
K: What's up?
V: I can't reach the cans. I need tomatoes and last time I used that stupid $1.00 plastic foot stool it slipped out from underneath me and I fell and landed in the sink. I could've died. Help me pleeease.
K: Okay. (Saunters into kitchen and reaches up into cabinet) - Ohh, dinner looks good. What's for dessert? Are you making that bread pudding?
V: I don't know about dessert tonight I am pretty tired.
K: That's cool. We can have this I guess.
V: What the eff is that? You bought spotted dick? Are you freaking serious K?
K: Yes. Why? You put it on the list.
V: omg that was a joke. A joke! Spotted dick K? Really? You just buy anything on the list without question!?!
K: Hey you put it on there so I bought it. Turn the can around. What's in there? Sugar, milk, flour. Hmm. I eat all those things. Sounds great.
Nice to know he will buy anything on a list. I will be using this to my full advantage from now on.
Are we the only married fools that make stupid jokes about naughty sounding food? Feel free to leave your funniest tube steak and pound cake jokes below.