I've fallen and I can't get up.

I am probably showing my age referencing the old "I've fallen and I can't get up." commercials but I cannot think of a better way to articulate the current state of my life. We made it back to Ithaca. The ride home was great. Pweezy didn't vomit, we had a fun dinner detour at Delmonico's in Utica, NY, and we were all snuggled up in our king sized bed before 10:00 PM.

Success.

But its back to reality. I am so happy I deep cleaned the apartment and my husband finished the laundry before our two week excursion (or however long I was gone, I can't even remember). Our tiny apartment is stacked full of luggage that needs unpacking and new toys that need homes. My real life and virtual to do lists are slightly terrifying.

During our trip my husband received the amazing news that he has an interview with a top management consulting firm in NYC next week. We couldn't be happier but of course this means our winter break has been cut a little short. Its for a good cause but I've been robbed of a few extra days of co-parenting. Oh well. I'll survive.

Maybe.

I am scared of the unknown. We still have no idea where we will be this summer, I am terrified of potty training Pweezy, not looking forward to transitioning Cmoney to a big girl bed, wondering when Cmoney will wean, antsy about surviving the winter months (mostly) alone with the kids, working on losing three hundred pounds, finding things to photograph during a bleak, long winter, and the list goes on.

Then I have my blogging issues. After spending some time on the internet and habitually comparing myself to other mothers I realized I'm really not that crunchy. And what about Vermont? We will most likely never live there full time again. It feels strange to have my identity tied to a place that will most likely never be my home again.

I am kind of stuck and lost. I really have no idea what direction to take my online life in.

It isn't a huge deal. I'll figure it out eventually. I hope you bear with me.

Excuse me while I find a new home for Handy Manny and his demolition crew.

These pictures make me feel like our recent trip was a sort of see you later to Vermont.