No Screaming Babies In Restaurants?

Preston & His Aunt @ Sakura on Church Street

I am a little late on this "hot topic" Restaurant to parents: No screaming kids allowed but it annoys me so much that I have to chime in. It is highly unlikely that I would ever frequent a restaurant that is tacky enough to hang up a sign that says “Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated!”. That is not a judgment of those that do. It is more a statement of what a picky bitch I am when it comes to restaurants. 

I find the sign to be offensive and pointless. In fact I have a few ideas of some signs I would much rather see:

  • Drunk Men Stinking of Axe Body Spray will NOT be Tolerated
  • People That Treat Servers/Hospitality Staff Badly and/or Do Not Tip will NOT be Tolerated
  • Open Mouth Chewers will NOT be Tolerated
  • Patrons That Act Uppity with the Sommelier will NOT be Tolerated
  • People Wearing Fanny Packs (and I do not care if it IS Louis Vuitton) will NOT be Tolerated

I could go on and on but you get the point. Society is riddled with annoying people. I am definitely one of them. We are all annoying to somebody. If we are going to alienate every group of people that we deem to be irritating we are going to find ourselves alone. And if the goal is to be alone then why don't the easily annoyed keep THEIR asses at home? I know that is what I do for the most part. Otherwise I would be slapping people left and right. 

Families with children are an easy target. It is true that some parents are either completely unaware of their surroundings or selfish enough to not care that their children are disturbing others. It is also true that there are many loud mouthed foul smelly adults that exhibit the same behavior. What is the difference? Why attack families? 

I am in favor of leaving families alone. Why make people with children feel unwelcome anywhere? The same people that are in favor of the sign mentioned above are probably the same people whining about the corruption of society's moral fabric. People are trying to enjoy their meals as a family unit. Leave them alone. Go protest the opening of a topless donut shop or something. 

Enjoying an Orange at The Essex Grill 

To the easily annoyed: If a loud family shows up at a restaurant while you are dining kindly request a new seating arrangement and roll your eyes at the offending family on your way there. Express your derision quietly and that does not mean that you should give them the finger. 

To clueless parents: If your child or children start making a scene at a restaurant leave immediately. Try to calm your child down. If your child is disruptive enough to cause a scene your child probably wants to go home. Take your food to go and enjoy the rest of your meal at home once your demon spawn has retired for the evening. 

There you go. I fixed everything. Again! 

At Pho Dang in Burlington - Our Favorite Vietnamese Restaurant