Things That Got My Goat This Week

There have been a lot of annoying stories in the news lately. This is not anything new. What IS new is that I will be blogging about the items that "got my goat" the most. I love the phrase and am thrilled to have a venue to showcase my affection.

Jessica Alba
If you follow me on Twitter then you already know that I have never liked this heffa. When she first came on the scene during the Dark Angel days weirdos that were trying to pay me some sort of compliment would compare me to her. Yes I know I should have been flattered but I am not delusional and we look nothing alike. I am WAY hotter. 
Seriously though have you read this: 
Waaaah I am so sorry super beautiful rich lady with the easiest job in the world. You poor poor dear. 
It must be SO hard to whine about changes to your body while writhing around sexily in a video for GQ's male readership. Must be so so hard to be you. 
Do me a favor? Please shut the hell up 
All mothers are familiar with the changes that occur to a woman's body during and post pregnancy. We really do not need a skinny ass overpaid under talented lollipop to tell us how difficult these changes have been for her. Seriously. If she was as gruesome as she describes herself she would not be making large sums of money to appear semi nude in movies and in magazines. Jessica Alba - Shut up. You suck. 
Suck it up like the rest of us do and focus on your child. 
Oh and attention readers: Ill be on the cover of US Weekly in a few weeks. Im going to tell you how you too can lose 40 pounds of baby weight in four weeks by eating nothing but Craisins washed down with Cherry Kool-Aid. 
I am kind of a celebrity. I got recognized at the mall once! 
Sun Chip Enemies

I am a very easily annoyed person. I am a total nut job and even I am completely baffled by the fact that some idiots are upset that the new eco-friendly fully compostable bag is noisy. You read that correctly: People are upset because the bag is noisy. Frito-Lay sends noisy, 'green' SunChips bag to the dump
I have purchased many of these bags. My husband loves to keep SunChips at his desk. What on earth could people possibly be doing with these bags that they find the sound to be THAT distracting? I just cannot fathom it. People honestly cannot make the audio sacrifice for the sake of the earth? We should be applauding Frito-Lay for this ground breaking packaging. 
Why do people need sneaky ninja potato chip bags? How about you maniacs stop sneaking chips into church or the library or your cousin's weddings! How about THAT! You freaking lard asses. 
I just don't get it.
Jessica Alba & SunChip's bag haters got my goat this week.
What got your goat this week? 
There is a ton of material out there!