Here is the tale of my latest parenting fail.
I am a huge fan of good manners. Good manners are the only thing that separates us from Big Foot. I don't know about you but I do not want to be confused for a wild forest dwelling creature. I am currently in the process of teaching teething toddler tornado a.k.a. Pweezy how to say his pleases and thank yous.
P was playing with something he shouldn't have been. Most likely a semi-empty Starbucks cup because he is obsessed with coffee but that is another issue altogether. In an attempt to save the white couch my husband snatched the cup out of P's hand. I went BALLISTIC once P was out of ear shot. "How am I supposed to teach him not to grab and how to share if YOU are snatching things out of his hand without even saying please and thank you!' My husband said something along the lines of how P was too young to understand the concept of manners and that if P was playing with something he shouldn't he was going to snatch the item from him as quickly as possible. I was less than pleased.
The next day I attempted to show off my awesome parenting skills in an attempt to teach my husband a lesson. P ran up to me and attempted to forcibly remove a Netflix envelope from my hands as my mother and husband looked on. I stopped him and asked him repeatedly to say please. He finally decided to say please and then thanked me kindly for giving him the envelope. I was incredibly pleased with myself and gave my husband a smug look.
P began running around the house at full speed. I needed the envelope. There was no longer a place for Prince of Persia in my home and it was time to get the queue moving along. If I didn't retrieve that envelope there was no telling where it would end up. I started chasing P begging and pleading. Whining "please" repeatedly at him was fruitless. He laughed and ran while my husband returned the smug look I had once had the satisfaction of giving him.
I had inadvertently taught P that he can have whatever he wants as long as he asks politely. That is the way it works for me but I am a super sexy adult *wink*. It is not a safe way to raise a child. What if he says "Mom may I please have a flame thrower?' If I do not honor his request then I am a liar. I had dug a serious hole for myself.
I decided that outsmarting the toddler was my only hope. I asked him to please throw the DVD in the garbage and then asked him to close the closet door once he was finished. He thankfully decided to comply. I returned to the living room and to my snickering mother and husband. My mother told me that my husband was right. BURN! My husband smirked. I quietly seethed on the couch and then my mother asked "Did you ever get the DVD out of the garbage?".